7 Elements To Regain Yourself & Your Power For Success
So last week I took a much-needed rest from my wonderful blog, very much needed. This had fulfilled my creative outlet and served as a testament to myself that I went for it. Sometimes I need to relish the feeling before it passes. But lets get into it..
Have you ever dreamt, imagined, envisioned in your mind, meditated on, prayed on, etc. about what the best version of yourself would look like, feel like, or be doing? Have you checked in with yourself during low points and ask “What am I doing this for?”
Yeah, me too. Burnout happens a lot more than anyone lets on. Especially women in leadership and executive roles.
Despite all my research in psychology, my decades in healthcare and the military taught me to “dance in a thunderstorm without getting wet” (Gerri from Succession).
7 Elements To Regain Yourself & Your Power For Success
Get Serious.
Make a decision to go all the way to the top. If it’s been on your mind whether to go all in or not, is the difference between you reaching your goals and wondering if you’re going to accomplish them? I know a guy that has half a dozen jokes keeping him from becoming promoted. He’s not known as rich he’s known as a joker, which I guess is OK if that’s the kind of life you want to live, but it really isn’t the best way to be taken seriously.
2. Personal Development.
All great leaders need to absorb knowledge to help keep their minds sharp and to get creative. So gets thirsty for knowledge. Take care of your health. If you feel crappy because of the food that you eat, eat better food exercise do the things that are going to develop you better habits than you have now. Aim for small change, it’s the most likely way to stick with a habit. I only start 1-2 new things a month. I challenge myself to keep growing and keeps me focused on goals instead of what holds me back.
3. Network.
The bigger your Network is the more access to people and opportunities. I had a time I isolated myself and when I reached out to a few industry friends about me wanting to find a new position, I had 2 warm intros to better work prospects. You need to network. It’s like business cards. Essentials.
4. What’s holding you back?
This one is the doozy. Just kidding- get the right mindset by reflecting on past career mistakes. This was so hard for me at first, but take heart- no one knows your thoughts so process it! Find the lesson and hit the save button in your brain. Learn what you WANT to react to and what really doesnt. Get clarity about situations and people. Then remove those who hold you back.
5. Positive Self Dialogue.
This was by far the HARDEST habit I had to change. It took a lot of elbow grease and checking myself, but I did it and you can too. Work on the dialogue you have with yourself. If you imagine someone you highly respect, how woyuld you talk and treat them? Little shocking how we can speak to ourselves. I got a necklace with the engraving “Breath in confidence and exhale doubt”. Every time I want to say “Ughhh I can’t…” I hold my necklace and remind myself silently to BREATH! You hold yourself back, so with yourself, and get your mind right.
6. Visualization.
As a bible thumper myself, this pushed boundaries on Religion for me and I had to break through my career roadblocks. I was DESPERATE but not stupid. I researched how to visualize. I went through the Mind Valley app. It’s “stepping into greatness with the World’s leading transformation platform”- Mind Valley. Results were almost immediate. I recommend only what I have tried and what’s worked for me. I recommend looking at it. 😉
7. Develop an urgency for action.
Mel Robbins talks about The 5 Second Rule in her book. She explains the rule as “the 5-second rule is simple. If you have an instinct to act on a goal, you must physically move within 5 seconds or your brain will kill it.” Dramatic and I live for it. Sometimes the only people who make things happen are the ones who show up.
Your network will teach you about yourself and who you want to be.
This week I reached out to a long-time friend, battle buddy, and someone I have respected for a very long time. We will keep her anonymous for her privacy. Her work ethic is unparalleled only by her incredible underdog-to-success story. Full-time NCO for the Army, Masters in Psychology but a PHD from the streets. She is not to be underestimated, and her work and friendship have been instrumental to my Salty point of view*. When you want the HARD truth- you know what friends to count on.
That’s why Networking is a heavy weight on this list and want to convey it.
“It is the task of the enlightened not only to ascend to learning and to see the good but to be willing to descend again to those prisoners and to share their troubles and their honors, whether they are worth having or not.”
PLATO
The Salty Entrepreneur: What Human experience growing up shaped you?
Sanchez: “Many experiences have shaped from early life I can say that being mentally and physically abused by my father. Sexual assault from a relative ( I really do not want to talk about this). As a teenager I wanted to belong so I hung around the wrong crowd and got into a lot of trouble. I was arrested and never booked so no record. I was saved by the intervention of Father Gregory Boyle/Dolores Mission in Boyle Heights. Well, I was told I needed to go to this program. I only went 3 times, but it was enough. This all before the age of 15 and then having bad male relationships one of which I was kidnapped or it is called an abduction from a boyfriend at the age of I want to say 19 or 20. When this happened to me I wanted to die; go under a rock. -Disappear-! It was difficult, but at the same time, I knew that what I wanted was not possible. I had to endure and move forward as best as possible. I was young and scared and alone. Well, at least that is how it felt. Wow there are so many, but these I feel are.”
The Salty Entrepreneur: What was your internal dialogue telling you about the experience that shaped you today?
Sanchez: “My internal dialogue says wow what the hell. Writing it seems so much a slap in the face, but I feel I have come a long way. It says to keep moving forward and the past is what happened not what you are. It made me think of all the things that I need to still work on as well. Pinche Jacky.”
The Salty Entrepreneur: Is your point of view now “upgrade or downgrade” the belief systems from your old perception?
Sanchez: “Meaning what? The belief system in terms of God/religion? I was born catholic and raised catholic, but what has changed is that I do not believe that in order to be present with God I need a church. My church is where I find GOD wherever that may be. In my car; on my walk, on the treadmill. If that is what you are talking about. If it is something else please explain further.
The Salty Entrepreneur: So for question number three what I meant was -what wisdom and takeaways did you get from those early life lessons?
Sanchez: OK, so this question is difficult. I say difficult to answer because I am not sure or I have never thought bout as it being wisdom. I view it as a survival mechanism. These things that I have done to keep others out basically. It is very difficult to maintain relationships because I do not trust; but when I do end up trusting something happens that reminds me to not trust people for face value. I am very closed off meaning I have or make these walls so that it is impossible for others to come in, but If allow you to come in then that is a big step, but in the same token I do not allow people all the way in. I have been hurt by friendships that’s another reason why I have built these walls. So the wisdom is be true to self. No one, I say no one is going to take care of you as you can only do and no one will love you as you will only love self. I tell you that this is difficult to do because I question everything and everyone at all times. I just had a really bad break with a friend I had for a very long time. We have known each other for a good 18 years and while I was deployed she would sabotage my work. It a very complicated thing, but in either case, I had to let go of that relationship even though I had invested a lot of time into the relationship. That is the other thing wisdom: relationships like everything they change over time and what you think you have may have changed and you were not aware. Wisdom; love and care for yourself because no one else will. Do not ever leave that for anyone to fill the emptiness that sometimes we feel. It is always up to one to find that happiness. For some it takes a lifetime to figure that out. I am figuring it out now.
Plato. Sanchez, and so many other incredible stories to learn from. In my experience, NO ONE has a perfect story. We all have things- some just hide it much better.
Your power is to know how to exercise it. You must keep these life lessons so you can reflect and become insightful for future use. Stepping stones or stumbling blocks, the only difference is how high you lift your foot.
I grew up in a family of 6 and it was LONELY, but I was the youngest and my parents did their best to love us. My mom encouraged me in any way she could. On a Saturday while selling Tamales, we would periodically stop at yard sales and browse. Our client was getting rid of her kid’s RL Stine books. There was 3 shelf’s worth and she sold it to us for $5 my mom knew it was a sacrifice for us back then but she got them for me. I took advantage and used my time reading EVERY book. That’s when I really learned the value of learning from “others’ mistakes”. Those stories became my “house palace”, my people, my tribe, my family, my generals, my peers, and my mentors.
I learned resiliency through literacy. I saw how stories, wisdom, and parables are psychological strategies on how to persuade, teach, and grow by.
Everything has rules, said/unsaid, so you either pick up on it or sleep on the information that could level you up. We grow up with the assumed customary niceties. WE ALL KNOW at church/mass/temple etc., have sets of guidelines on everything from how to dress, speak, interact, and class system. Just like school, work, and home. So it’s a skill that most overlook but should invest time in learning. I work in healthcare and see how understanding other cultures and their customers helps me get along well with them. Civil Affairs taught me in the Army- that it is essential to communicate with other leaders by understanding their customs. So let’s heed that advice.
What I am saying is anything can be learned! So if you aren’t great at exercising the power you have; you can study from people with decades of knowledge. The internet’s knowledge is a beautiful thing. You could potentially learn graduate-level information or even higher. Skillshare app is another fun go-to for Masterclass type of learning. It’s incredible and taught me how to use SEO and how to up my skills to stay relevant and competitive.
Aim to be the Kobe Bryant of your work. Whatever you do, be the effing best.
Through learning and exploring your interests, you naturally expand yourself and learn more about who you are and what makes you tick. Learn what are your buttons.
The inner work isn’t fun for everyone. I enjoy being the test subject to create the best version of myself. Albeit painful, it’s shaved off decades off my learning curve. I projected my current lifestyle at age 55. I am 36, but I have an empire to build so it’s nice to see some fruits of my sacrifices early.
You can reinvent yourself, anytime in your life. It’s just a choice you will have to make with yourself. To do things you have never done in order to get what you have never gotten.
I encourage you to take what resonates and leave the rest. Hustle culture isn’t leaving, but you don’t have to suffer burnout trying to live in it. Let’s Stay Salty and understand WE have power- not giving it up ever again.
XoXo The Salty Entrepreneur
