The Salty Point Of View: 7 Tips To Help You Regain Perspective
That’s kinda synonymous with life right? From writing to personal relationships- some seasons your on top of the mountain peak; and some seasons your walking the valley. The duality of how snake venom is poison, but also the antidote. That’s The Salty Entrepreneur. TSE is the duality of what I’ve become as a serial entrepreneur. Salty over past mistakes but wiser and more content about how I approach my goals in real-time.
**bottom lip shoulder shrug**.
If that’s your jam, WELCOME. In my corner of the internet, I will be trying to develop new techniques to self-mastery and impart free nuggets of wisdom. My life struggles to bring context to why I stumble upon topics. Runaway with me through the labyrinth of self-discovery, get lost in the jungle of “mental health” coping strategies (good and bad, just so you can see the difference), and the exploration of different muses for creativity. ok, I just really enjoy dark humor, satire and reflecting back on my soul. When you have been broken, you learn to appreciate all the things that shaped your outcomes. Most of the time- very unpleasant circumstances, but the lessons you get are seared into your memory. THAT WON’T HAPPEN AGAIN. So I thought- new level new kinds of “Bowsers” trying to keep Princess Peach.
My rival: INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS. Think of them as little pest. The benign threat that raises your anxiety because well- they’re ANNOYING. When you become aware of their insidious nature, you realize, they 👏 have 👏got 👏 to 👏 go 👏. I’ll SHOW you how you can bounce back and swat these little buggers like bugs on a windshield. Mostly learning that THESE THOUGHTS might not even be you. Just good old fashion media hogwash and imposed limiting beliefs. Regardless, hella annoying and toxic.
Regain PERSPECTIVE.
Your cup will either be half full or half empty. Either way your right.
This is a list I have personally created and used in my fight to regain perspective. It’s hard to just admit to yourself you are in a dark space but knowing really is 80% of the battle. But I’ll share some of my BEST TIPS and give you a look how to ACTUALLY put them into practice.
1. Consume what YOU want to be one day.
Not what your parents what you to be, or your friends. YOU need to be drawn to it. Even if you think its a wild dream thats is unrealistic. Next is a tough part to this, but its the protein part of this meal; DELETE the people, places or things that strike up a negative vibe. Don’t just deal with it anymore. If you cant delete someone like a friend or coworker- then unfollow their feed. Most socials provide this feature. Trust me- one week of not seeing them is going to dramatically improve your mood.
2. Get a MENTOR.
How the heck do you do that?! I’ll tell you! You surround yourself with THE BEST. I didn’t have the network I have now at 20 years old. I had to build one. Ultimately my avoidant attachment style (I learned) doesn’t trust people but really, really wants to be validated by them 😅 nice right? Be around people but hate being around people. If you are similar- fear not. Do you have social media? Then I got a war strategy for you. I made a TikTok account after I learned how the algorithm worked. TikTok is different than other socials bc it’s a unique algorithm that pushes content potency- that’s why so many people who are nobody can go viral. It’s about quality, not quantity.
Ok great j- why does it matter? BC TikTok algorithms are super predictive to funnel all the things you search and want to see. So beware a random search in TikTok will feed you that content the more you engage with it. I looked up something witchy and I had it on my feed for MONTHS. I had to swipe past quickly and not engage AT ALL in order for it to go away. Still, it creeps up on me but it’s better than before. THIS allowed me to create a TikTok account JUST for my mental health diet: good vibes, mentors, and business-minded content creators. I curated my ultimate SAFE SPACE. Try it! I didn’t post anything for months.. I just consumed content that I specifically wanted like a bomb charcuterie board.
3. Set up yearly Goals.
Make an IMPOSSIBLE GOAL LIST. Make one, even if you don’t hit the mark, you get a lot closer to where you want to be. That is enough of a dopamine hit to keep you in the momentum. Either immediate gratification or reward yourself for the achievement. I ALWAYS buy myself Skittles, a matcha latte from Starbucks or spend $5 at Dollar Tree for self-care mani/ pedi. It’s usually under $5 and quickly accessible. If I attain a goal I celebrate for myself. It will make your brain think it won, momentum builds and now you're excited to hit the next milestone towards your goal.
4. Reverse engineer the steps to get there.
Example of my goal: To build my own business and scale it. This year. Haha I almost cried because how? But working it backwards or making a timeline will help you see the BIG PICTURE. I said at some point I’ll need capital. Ok so I gotta pick something with little to no capital needed. Then I attended over 2 dozen webinars on everything from affiliate marketing, Amazon Drop-shipping, digital media manager and the list goes on. I actually found that if it didn’t serve a new sense of Novelty I would get bored and lose momentum (thanks ADHD) So when hearing about a travel agent business, I was intrigued. It’s 1099 (self employed), remote so no more commuting (helping with the need for rest), allows me the freedom to make my own schedule (I currently have this type of position so I already use to it), I can pick up and drop off my kids without answering to anyone, EVER. And it was $70 bucks to start? SOLD. Me and the hubs love to travel so this is a win win. I can travel, help others and work remotely- anywhere in the world? Oufffff I need this. This became one of my stepping stone goals towards “FINANCIAL FREEDOM”. But that is more like a 3-5 year goal. It was a 10 year plan but I readjust as I grow my income streams.
5. Pre-plan hiccups.
Ok so this one is multifaceted. Stick with me here For me the answer is EATING OUT. Omg why is this so hard to quit! I told myself to create a mantra type of phrase. To keep me on track. The Army did this alot and its a psychological hack. When ever soldiers struggled physically from exhaustion or tedious work, they had us call cadence. Ughh I still do the basic “left, right, left right yo left, keep keep it in step”. I chant this when I walk my dogs, go for a run or when I want to feel a little more pep in my step at work. I promise the phrases work! Drill Sergeant Barnett of Ft. Jackson would constantly remind me when we got into trouble “if I can’t train your mind, I’ll train your body” aka smartass you ganna be tired when I’m done smoking you [😆] I remember he would count my pushups like this. *1, 2, 3, 3, 3, 3, 4, 4,… with his knife hands* I knew, by the command, what was being needed of me. A sort of “call to arms”. My body straightens, I muster courage and strength from deep inside and PUSH that ground away from me. MY POINT: get a mantra for tough times. One I adopted from a Roman General, it helped me to fix my defeated mindset. “Those who wish for peace prepare for war” but in Latin. That means levels of things to me. It’s special to me, its a tattoo on my inner right bicep after a nasty time in my life. Find one and post it note that ishhhh everywhere. Bathroom, car, background on your phone. Just google search affirmations, mantras and pick whatever floats your boat.
6. Ask yourself- What are things along the way that can derail me?
How would you want to handle it in a perfect calm scenario? Marinate on this a while. Ever get in the shower and replay fights and how you could have won? Well do it before hand and you ensure you WILL win. The more prepared you are the better it will be to spot and deal with “detours”. Ie: my goal this year was to start making Goals. Most of my depression and anxiety swirls around lack of progress. I get really burdened when I work so hard and see myself become more tired and more stressed- my solution in that TIRED STATE IS: to DO MORE. Center productive bc I need rest cycles. It took a while to spot I am HIGH energy and then it fizzles. But now I know – I usually need 2-3 days focused on rest so I can be ready for the next round of “creative flow”. I burn so much energy but NEVER allowed myself to rest in the past. This hurt me on so many levels. My health, my family and my mental health. Hustle culture said I can’t stop, won’t stop. Until my heart almost did. That’s when I got serious. Goal 1, take your rest days, plan for them or they won’t happen.
7. JOURNAL
Ok, this one annoyed even me to write it but dang it- it’s a real game-changer. So with sudden triggers of PTSD- I disregulate so quickly I don’t even know why I’m upset. This is chaos to me. Journaling let me brain-dump all the thoughts. If I felt it- I was writing it. It helped me focus on one thing, and control my breathing, and pen to paper helped me regulate myself back into the present moment. I then read what I wrote and with a calmer eye could see the REAL issue.
Example:
I was getting messages and calls 24/7 from work. Emails on weekends. Without noticing I was working 60-80 hour weeks. For years. Finally, I had to make boundaries so keep my family life healthy. I started off by asking for no calls after 7pm. Things felt better. Then I was reprimanded for not “helping more like before”. It was hard but I held my boundary, nervously but I knew I couldn’t go back to the old 80-hour weeks. It took time but I was able to hold the line and then I started working 50-55 hour weeks. My health improved, I dropped weight, I was the most content I had ever been. I saw Boundaries as a God sent, I felt the mind fog and haze vanish within a few weeks of getting adequate rest.
